I've been all twisted up inside for the last few days. It may have to do with my period making me overly emotional, but I can't shake the tension in my chest. Roger has been courageously dealing with the truck situation, but I'm still having dreams about it and thinking about it all the time. I'm so terrified that all the hard work I've done to get our savings to what it is will be destroyed by this guy. Then there's those other things gnawing at my brain to worry me. Today is the day of our house inspection. Last week we got a letter from Balmforth saying they wanted to inspect the house. I think it's pretty awkward considering we've been here for a year and a half. We spent most of our weekend scrubbing and painting and mowing. I hadn't really cleaned the house since the accident so it was due for it anyway. Everyone always tells us we have nothing to worry about because even when we think our house is a mess it is still very presentable. But this is our letting agency and they are greedy, untrustworthy, generally scummy people. They wouldn't be here if they weren't looking for something.
Then there's the school thing, which I've decided to totally give up on. I spent all that time fighting with my teacher, fighting with the system and it's just not worth my effort any more. I'm going to take an F, take a two month break and start over in January. It'll be a new year and hopefully I'll have some better luck. I'm really hoping that the trip goes well. That is the only other thing on my mind. It's time to run the last numbers for hotel costs so my parents can wire us the rest of the money and it's almost time to start making reservations; dinner at the Moulin Rouge, dinner at the Eiffel Tower, massages in Germany, wine tasting in Rome, guided tours. The list goes on I'm sure.
Things with Roger and I have evened out I suppose. It's been a while since we've had sex. I don't remember if we have at all since that Halloween party. He told me that he would take a break from drinking, but of course when the weekend came he was asking if he could drink some screwdrivers. Not being able to hold back, I snapped a nasty comment about how he could go have a few with Tiffany if he liked and I think he got the point. It maybe wasn't the best way to start the evening, but I really think he should have known better. We went to a BBQ at the Ross' on Saturday and he only had a single beer. I doubt this will go on for long, but I'll be happy if he can at least keep it like this through the holidays.
Gheez, the holidays. They hadn't even crossed my mind until just now. Roger mentioned the Flight Christmas party yesterday, but it barely registered. I wonder if I can even fit into that dress I bought earlier this year? Roger always gets upset about Thanksgiving and Christmas because I feel like I need to cook a lot. I make pies and cakes and cookies and the whole Turkey dinner spread and then we get stood up by the Kegley's and all our left-overs go to waste because Roger won't take a lunch to work. This year I don't have to worry about Christmas. We'll be on a ferry boat in the Adriatic Sea on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. I do need to come up with a menu for my parents while they are here. It's for sure that we'll be cooking steak and crab, but my dad is sensitive to pasta so my great manicotti and lasagna are probably out of the question. Roger is in love with my meatloaf now so maybe that will be on the list and the Shake n Bake chicken we've become fond of. Maybe someone will actually invite us to their place this year. Or maybe we'll just do steak and crab for two on Thanksgiving. Or maybe it will be just like any other day. 2007 hasn't really treated us well anyway.
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