I don't know what happened today, but I've been overcome with anxiety about buying the Jeep. I drove myself over to the Exchange Car Sales office to try to convince myself things would be okay, but it didn't help. I promised Rob that I would be back around three to give him the final deposit and some of the paperwork. I spent some time flipping through the brochure just now and I don't feel any better. All I can think about is how we might regret buying this truck and I keep wondering is this really the right vehicle for me? The thing is I don't have time to have these sort of doubts and I can't ease my tensions by going and having a test drive because the idiots don't even have any Grand Cherokees over here. All these options keep popping into my head, like wouldn't it be better to save the money and buy something used when we go back? Or – if we get stationed at Fairchild my dad and Matt can build me whatever car I want for a ton cheaper than new, like maybe a TL. Then I start freaking out about all the crazy unknowns and the what if's. What if we don't get stationed at Fairchild? What if I can't get a job? What if something happens between now and next year that we can't put as much money down on it as we planned?
Rob told me that I should go check out the Commander that is on Mildenhall because the interior is very similar to the Grand Cherokee. I hope being able to play with the buttons and sit behind the wheel will make me feel better because I don't like this tension in my chest and all these stupid things clouding my head. The stuff I would think about to calm me down just a few months ago is seriously scaring the crap out of me now…getting a degree, and a new Jeep, and a new house, and going back to the states, and…argh!
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